now i can see where the math might be going

i felt sort of run-down last week. i believe my kick-ass antioxidants may be the culprit. see, they're intended to kick the ass of the toxins in my body - but it seems they had to kick my ass first? i don't know - supposedly it's medically sound, but it seems a bit 12thcenturychristianity to me.

my boss was kind enough to let me come in late on friday morning, since i was at the office late thursday nite buying earrings. i'm grateful, because i don't know if i would've been able to get to work on time anyway. i felt cruddy. but i just kept reminding myself that i was feeling cruddy because i was getting better. that totally helped.

anyway, yesterday i felt okay and today i feel almost normal. i guess i'm detoxing pretty quickly. unless there's another stage i don't know about? probably later this afternoon i'll be throwing up and thinking, how did i not see this coming? but for now i'm excited to feel better. my mom says i made up all the stuff about being genetically predisposed to illness, so maybe the antioxidants have a chance of working and i won't die in a four-poster bed like a bronte character.

i finished reading nick hornby's a long way down last week. slow at the start, but quite beautiful by the end. i'd recommend it. in fact, i'm recommending it now.

what else? i held a tarantula this weekend. it wasn't actually that exciting, but i keep telling people about it anyway. i also did some writing, and went on a butterfly-oriented field trip with good friends, and made up a lot of false similies involving buttons. i caught up with four important persons on the phone, and ate blueberry pancakes at natalie's, and made awkward noises with stacie. i indulged one of those rare, wild impulses to clean, and i worked on my house (and more specifically, my disaster-area of a room), for hours. i pulled a classic jessy move and locked myself out of my house about five minutes before my phone battery died. i felt extremely grateful to be able to walk places again. spring spring spring spring spring spring spring - you cannot be here too soon.

i was thinking today about one of our clients, this twelve-year-old boy. i was thinking about how he is possibly the nicest, most well-mannered twelve-year-old boy i've ever met. he makes eye contact and he stands up straight and when you ask him how his day was, he answers clearly and kindly. you can tell he's likely to be a good-looking adult some day.

his mom says he gets picked on in school.

and i know, i know, i know. there are only like five kids who don't get picked on in junior high. i know. it just sucks. because some kids get picked on enough that they actually change, y'know? they get scared enough that it shakes them right out of their own skin, and into something thicker. i think he'll probably be fine. but there's this part of me that wants to shout at him, "just wait till your senior year of college! then at least a good chunk of the girls will be totally tired of dating jerks, and they'll think you're totally hot!" but i realise that could be considered an inappropriate thing to say to a twelve-year-old boy in my office. and also that telling him about something that's about a decade away might not actually be that helpful.

so i will not tell the young man the secret of his upcoming success. i'll try to focus on other things... like dreaming about making aprons and magnetic bulletin boards, and playing around with a video camera, and writing in a cabin in the mountains, and actually finishing my taxes someday so i can really send some help.